Natasha Oakley - British Romance Author

Writer of tug-at-the-heartstrings, feel-good romance for Harlequin Mills & Boon

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Diary of an unfit mother ....

It began at 5.30 am when offspring number five decided it was morning. Unfortunately ... he had fallen asleep the night before with some 'magic putty' on his pillow ... Why do they do that??? Doesn't logic tell you that you'd be more likely than not to stick to it? Well, stick to it he did.

Now, offspring number five is hugely influenced by offspring number one who, until he joined the air cadets, had shoulder length hair. Can you 'see' the matted mass of hair?

Can you?

He agreed to have the lump of putty snipped out, but I've yet to convince him he'd look a whole lot better if we evened the look up a little.

Picture me, bleary eyed, making tea ... and then coffee (I like to get the drugs running through my system early!) when offspring number one 'remembered' he had maths homework 'in' for today.

And it was sooo hard! Nothing like maths homework for making this girl feel inadequate.

I think I was still managing fairly successfully on the 'mum' front until ... offspring number two announced she needed a pair of tracksuit bottoms today. Obviously this would have been fine, but they turned out to be wet and in the washing machine.

Five lunches-packed-up later we set off on the 'school run' - slightly late, which really 'bothers' offspring number one. Then I notice that offspring number four has dropped a large quantity of yoghurt down the front of his school trousers, offspring five hasn't cleaned his teeth and he's forgotten his book bag anyway.

I return home to .. a mess. No one has put their plate in the dishwasher or, in fact, picked up anything from where they'd left it the night before.


So, I picked up my laptop and walked back out the door. And I've had a fantastic writing 'day' sitting in a courtyard garden, drinking lovely coffee-shop coffee ...

Still, not going to tell you how many words I've written though. *g* I can't believe Trish Wylie has done 4000+ already! Good job I like her!!


  • At 5:00 pm, Blogger Liz Fielding said…

    Natasha, my "unfit" mother moment occurred when the son and heir, five years old, or thereabouts, was taken into town on a snowy day to buy new shoes. The Clarks lady arrived with her measuring thingie, the s&h removed his wellies to reveal that he had at some point, before we left the house, removed his socks. I thought she was going to report me to social services...

    The fact that he's nearing his 31st birthday and I'm still sweating about it reveals how deeply ingrained motherhood guilt penetrates. You have my sympathy...

  • At 12:00 am, Blogger Nicola Marsh said…

    I don't know how you do it.
    Instead of feeling guilty, you should be giving yourself a huge pat on the back. A fabulous mum and meeting deadlines?
    You're a wonder :)

  • At 12:02 am, Blogger Nicola Marsh said…

    And you made me chuckle!
    Here was I yesterday loosing it over offspring 1 having his first 'wall drawing with texta' moment.
    Not happy...after much elbow grease later with Chux Magic Eraser, it looks better and my mood had improved...a little!

  • At 8:09 am, Anonymous Kate Hardy said…

    Don't feel guilty. You have FIVE kids. The rest of us have the same kind of mess with two.

    Good on your for taking laptop to cafe. Hmm. I must try this strategy next time my lot drive me bananas...

  • At 9:02 am, Blogger Fiona Harper said…

    I'm giving you a round of applause for ditching the housework and clearing off to a coffee shop with your laptop! I think we'd all be a little more sane if we did that from time to time.


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